There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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