Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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(949): View more from California

even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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(914): View more from New York

I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

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(619): View more from California

We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

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(323): View more from California

they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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(812): View more from Indiana

And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.

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