I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
