Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
