the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
