I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
