Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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