You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
