And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
