38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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