Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
