Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
did i just pee glitter
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
