somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
