I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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