On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
