Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
