yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
