I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
