thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
