so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
