She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she looked like the before picture.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
