I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
