my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You've changed since you got that strap on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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