im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
