His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
