I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
