We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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