thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
