Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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