Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
