I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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