I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
