no, he came in my armpit
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
