she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
