wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Alive.
So much puke
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
