She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
