I faked an abortion last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
