She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's blow job season.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
