my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
