Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
