Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
