No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
