Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
