Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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