i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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