Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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