No awkward lesbian experiences without me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
