My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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