i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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