I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
