You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
