On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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